I Don't Want My Old Life Back — And That's a Good Thing

It's a quiet Tuesday morning.
I'm sitting on my balcony, coffee in hand, watching the Miami sunrise paint the sky in shades of pink and gold. In moments like these, a thought often crosses my mind—one that once would have seemed unimaginable:

I don’t want my old life back.

And that realization has been the most liberating truth of my journey.

The Life I Was “Supposed” to Have

Not long ago, I had checked all the boxes society handed me:
The stable career, the house, the car, the holidays.
The marriage that looked perfect on social media.
The carefully curated life that was supposed to equal happiness.

I had followed the script to the letter… so what happened?

Behind closed doors, no one sees the truth.
The job that didn’t light me up.
The marriage that became two people performing, not growing.
The beautiful house that somehow felt... empty.
I smiled in photos while quietly wondering why “having it all” still left me feeling like I had lost myself.

Then came the unraveling—
The divorce papers.
The burnout.
The identity crisis that made me question everything I thought I wanted.

Society calls it failure.
I call it an awakening.

The Messy Middle

Let’s be honest about something we don’t talk about enough:
The space between your old life and your new one is messy, uncomfortable, and absolutely necessary.

I spent nights crying on the floor of my childhood bedroom.
Faced financial fears that kept me awake at 3 a.m.
Questioned myself constantly.

What was waiting for me on the other side?

This is where most people turn back.
They convince themselves that stability—even in misery—is safer than the unknown.
They rebuild versions of the same cages they just escaped.

I almost did too.

But something within me whispered,
“There’s more.”

Not just more happiness—
More truth.
More alignment.
More possibility.

So I stayed in the discomfort.
I let myself come undone.
And that’s when the real story began.

The Permission to Want More

The most radical act wasn't leaving my old life—
It was giving myself permission to imagine a new one without apology.

I started asking the questions I had never dared to ask:

• What if my worth isn’t tied to productivity?

• What if I built a life around how I want to feel?

• What if I trusted myself more than others’ opinions?

• What if the breakdown… was actually a breakthrough?

These became my compass.

I traveled through Central America to find myself again—truthfully, I had no idea who “Amy” really was anymore.
That journey wasn’t just healing—it was life-changing.

Years later, I began coaching women through their own transitions.
I created slow, sacred mornings.
Evenings filled with connection and truth.

I built a life that feels like me—not the me I was told to be, but the me I remembered I am.

The Unexpected Gifts

No one tells you that leaving your old life behind brings gains far greater than the losses.

I lost the approval of people who loved a version of me that wasn’t real.
I gained the freedom to be myself, without apology.

I lost the false comfort of a life that was dimming my light.
I gained the joy of living in full alignment.

I lost relationships built on expectation.
I gained soul-deep connections rooted in truth.

I lost certainty.
I gained aliveness.

The most surprising part?
Discovering that the parts of me I had hidden—my sensitivity, my intuition, my longing for meaning—weren’t weaknesses.
They were my greatest strengths.

Why I Don’t Want It Back

Sometimes, well-meaning friends ask:
“Do you ever miss your old life?”

The truth is, I don’t.

Not because it was all bad—some parts were beautiful.
I’m deeply grateful for what it taught me.
Truly, it made me who I am today.

But I don’t want it back because I’ve lived what alignment feels like.
And once you’ve felt that… compromise is impossible.

I don’t want it back because I’ve learned that safety isn’t found in perfection—it’s found in self-trust.

I don’t want it back because I know now: breakdowns are often the birthplace of breakthroughs.

I don’t want it back because authenticity feels better than approval.

Your Permission Slip

If you’re standing in the rubble of your old life, wondering if you’ve made a mistake—
Let me tell you:

This isn’t the end of your story.
This is your beginning.

The discomfort? It means you’re on the right path.
The judgment? Proof that you’re choosing your own way.

You don’t have to want your old life back to be grateful for it.
You don’t need to rebuild what broke you just to prove you're okay.

Sometimes, the bravest thing you can say is:
“I don’t want that life anymore.”

And that’s not failure—
That’s freedom.

Your reset isn’t a breakdown.
It’s a reclamation.

And on the other side of the messy middle?
A life that’s more alive, more authentic, and more you than you ever imagined.

I know.
Because I’m living it.

And I wouldn’t go back for anything.